The Heart of the Matter

After an almost three hour conversation this weekend I kept thinking about the song "The Heart of the Matter"
Don Henley sang the original version which I really liked.

When I saw him in concert with the Eagles I liked it even more.
However, India.Arie's version makes it seem so spiritual.

It made me look up the lyrics, which I then found were very profound.

The Heart Of the Matter

I got the call today, I didn't wanna hear
But I knew that it would come
An old true friend of ours was talkin' on the phone
She said you found someone
And I thought of all the bad luck,
And the struggles we went through
And how I lost me and you lost you
What are these voices outside love's open door
Make us throw off our contentment
And beg for something more?

I'm learning to live without you now
But I miss you sometimes
The more I know, the less I understand
All the things I thought I knew, I'm learning again
I've been tryin' to get down to the Heart of the Matter
But my will gets weak
And my thoughts seem to scatter
But I think it's about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if, even if you don't love me anymore


These times are so uncertain
There's a yearning undefined
...People filled with rage
We all need a little tenderness
How can love survive in such a graceless age
The trust and self-assurance that can lead to happiness
They're the very things we kill, I guess
Pride and competition cannot fill these empty arms
And the work I put between us,
Doesn't keep me warm

I'm learning to live without you now
But I miss you, Baby
The more I know, the less I understand
All the things I thought I figured out, I have to learn again
I've been tryin' to get down to the Heart of the Matter
But everything changes
And my friends seem to scatter
But I think it's about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if, even if you don't love me anymore

There are people in your life who've come and gone
They let you down and hurt your pride
Better put it all behind you; life goes on
You keep carrin' that anger, it'll eat you inside

I've been tryin' to get down to the Heart of the Matter
But my will gets weak
And my thoughts seem to scatter
But I think it's about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if, even if you don't love me anymore

I've been tryin' to get down to the Heart of the Matter
Because the flesh will get weak
And the ashes will scatter
So I'm thinkin' about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if, even if you don't love me anymore

Back to you

As iffy as John Mayer's personality seems to be in real life, I do still like his songs. I really got drawn into the whole Room For Squares album. This song is one of (several of) my favorites. The last verse especially really got to me :)
It's kind of a spiritual song if you want to think about it in that way.

BACK TO YOU (John Mayer)

Back to you
it always comes around
back to you
I tried to forget you
I tried to stay away
But it's too late

Over you
I'm never over
over you
something about you
It's just the way you move
the way you move me

I'm so good at forgetting
and I quit every game I've played
but forgive me love
I can't turn and walk away

Back to you
it always comes around
back to you
I walk with your shadow
I'm sleeping in my bed
with your silhouette

Should have smiled in that picture
if it's the last that I'll see of you
it's the least that you could not do

Oh I will
leave the light on
I'll never give up on you
leave the light on
for me too

Back to me
I know that it comes
back to me
doesn't it scare you
your will is not as strong
as it used to be

Additional Lyrics:
doesn't it scare you.....

I'm weaker than you know

I'm swimming in a sea of faces

Trying to find my way to you

But it's no use,

In a crowded room where everybody wants you

Reading List

Thanks Jay

Fiction:
A Place on Earth by Wendell Berry (less a novel than a brilliantly crafted painting in words)
Till We Have Faces by C.S. Lewis (Lewis's "myth retold" and by his own account the best thing he ever did. I read this book at least once every other year)
All the Kings Men by Robert Penn Warren (the prose is so good you feel llike you're eating it)
Go Down Moses by William Faulkner
The Sound & the Fury by William Faulkner
Jayber Crow by Wendell Berry
The Memory of Old Jack by Wendell Berry
Invisible Man by Ralph Ellison
The Bear by Faulkner (feel like you stepped through the page into a created world)
Look Homeward Angel by Thomas Wolfe
Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad
Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte
Their Eyes Were Watching God by Zora Neale Hurston
The Great Divorce by C.S. Lewis
Phantastes by George MacDonald
You Can't Go Home Again by Thomas Wolfe
The Web & the Rock by Thomas Wolfe
The Nick Adams Stories by Ernest Hemingway
Ulysses by James Joyce
All Quiet on the Western Front by Eric Maria Remarque
The Rabbit Angstrom Trilogy by John Updike
The Lord of the Rings & Unfinished Tales by JRR Tolkien (yes it's very nerdy, but Tolkien invented a whole culture in his head)

Philosophy:
God & Other Minds by Alvin Plantinga
God, Freedom, & Evil by " "
Posterior Analytics by Aristotle
Frederick Copleston's History of Philosophy series (very well written)



Closer to the present
--Jon Dryden
--Alexander Pope
--William Wordsworth
--S.T. Coleridge
--A.E. Houseman
--Sigfried Sassoon
--Walter De La Mare

Contemporary:
--Galway Kinnell
--Wendell Berry (even better poet than novelist)
--Susannah Childress

Memoirs/Biography
Means of Ascent by Robert Caro (about Lyndon Johnson)
Witness by Whitaker Chambers
Sandy, A Life for God by Leighton Ford
With the Old Breed at Peleliu and Okinawa (enlisted man's memoir from WW2 Pacific theater)

Eyes

You scored as Diamond Eyes, You are full of confidence. Just don't let it go to your head. Its great to know your worth it! Isn't it:D Just remember those of us down here. You are probably quite popular. Diamond Eyes 67% Eyes full of Pain 67% Passion 50% Mysterious 50% What do your eyes reveal about you?(PICS!) created with QuizFarm.com

Chillin

Is good.
I laughed and laughed.

The place was packed.

Laughter is good for the soul

Spanky swears he is going to hell on scholarship for his AIDS Monkey joke and people agreed lol

Shock of Pleasure

I was listening to a morning radio show and they were screening new bands.
This one SHOCK OF PLEASURE really stood out. It was lounge music that sounded like relaxing house music, but they call it Electro-Lounge.

I loved it immediately because it was so relaxing. You can sit in the dark and listen to it if you have a headache hahah.
The first song on their myspace page "This Is A Test" Hooked me and reeled me in.
They are amazing and I hope they make it big.
I would like to hear them on the radio and get a cd.

Personality survey

That Personality Test :: Your Results
The latest personality test from ThatSurveySite... now featuring more and better questions than ever!
Emotional (40%)	[..........||........]	Logical (60%)
Concerned about self (73%)	[.....|||||..........]	Concerned about others (27%)
Atheist (34%)	[..........|||.......]	Religious (66%)
Loner (65%)	[.......|||..........]	Dependent (35%)
Laid-back (48%)	[....................]	Driven (52%)
Traditional (66%)	[.......|||..........]	Rebel (34%)
Impetuous (75%)	[.....|||||..........]	Organized (25%)
Engineering mind (49%)	[....................]	Artistic mind (51%)
Cynical (45%)	[..........|.........]	Idealist (55%)
Follower (50%)	[....................]	Leader (50%)
Introverted (80%)	[....||||||..........]	Extroverted (20%)
Conservative (61%)	[........||..........]	Liberal (39%)
Logical (41%)	[..........||........]	Romantic (59%)
Uninterested (51%)	[....................]	Sexual (49%)
Insecure (35%)	[..........|||.......]	Confident (65%)
Selective (75%)	[.....|||||..........]	Tolerant (25%)
Pessimistic (35%)	[..........|||.......]	Optimistic (65%)
Principled (30%)	[..........||||......]	Pragmatic (70%)
Tolerant (51%)	[....................]	Opinionated (49%)
Humble (20%)	[..........||||||....]	Elitist (80%)
Take the test!

.......

"In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends...

Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter. ~Martin Luther King Jr.~"

Just for Laughs

Life is stressful
So Laugh as much as possible.
We went to the comedy club and had a great time. I really liked the atmosphere and the people were really friendly.

The managers and the owners came up to us and talked and were really friendly.

They gave us these pass things to other clubs and theirs for free drinks or something...
I need them to explain that again but our tickets for that show for that night were comped as well!
I love it!

The show was really good.
I laughed a lot. I needed to laugh.

It cleared my headache right up.
But I think its back now..oh well :)

A little indulgence..this one time

Ok I do not usually do this. I don't usually go to a film and ogle anybody, but I allowed myself to ogle everyone in the 300.

Everybody in that movie was beautiful. The Spartans, the Persians, even the 'monsters'
Beautiful well sculpted bodies that took my breath away
Bodies

Just all over the place
Gerard Butler
Dominic West

Peter Manseh

Vincent Regan

Michael Fassbender

David Wenham


And on and on and on.

I could tell that the women who sat in the audience also were enraptured. The movie itself was good, thrilling, and action packed but I couldn't help but be wowed.
I surprised myself because I am never really all that into the bodies.
I tell myself I am all about the person and their character.
Their mind, and who they are, how they treat others and their soul.

But there was a collection of them.
Hundreds of them, just there all the time, purposely put there for us to look at, and be mesmerized by.
I was really mesmerized and I couldn't help it.
I am amazed at myself and wondering just how fickle I am because of this.
I decided, that like anybody, I just appreciate the beauty of them.
Oh I just remembered.
This happened to me with 'Stomp The Yard' as well.
Oh well..guess I am human just like everyone else :)

Comedy

The comedy show was good.
I liked Lavantor the best because I had seen him on BET Comic View before. I love his
"Massa know you here?" jokes

Steve Hoffstetter was cool too and the other guy who was with them...

I need to go to more shows. It's relaxing

They just opened the Comedy Zone here and I think I want to go.
I need some laughs haha

Black Snake Moan

Wow I loved this movie.
Reviews are mixed on it overall, but I think that it is the kind of movie that you 'get' or 'don't get'.
It's the kind of movie that you wont 'get' if you've never been through anything in your life or had to empathize with someone who has.

Nikki note: I saw this movie surrounded by some 19 year olds giggling at the sex and waiting for Samuel L Jacskon to say something about Snakes on a plane....I was incensed really by that..but I really should save my indignation for something other than a movie..... I do get your point Nikki

Black Snake Moan is set in a rural Southern town. Lazarus ( Samuel L. Jackson), is a deeply religious farmer, a former blues guitarist with marital problems; his wife has left him for his brother which leaves him with agony. Rae (Christina Ricci) is a sex-addicted young woman, traumatized by child abuse. She is distressed by the departure for duty of Ronnie (Justin Timberlake), her boyfriend who leaves on deployment with the National Guard.
When Ronnie Leave Rae loses all control and goes on a drinking, drug, and sex filled spree. After she is attacked by Ronnie's best fried and left for dead, Lazarus finds her and decides to take care of her.
His own agonized state leads him to believe that he can save her from herself, and he chains her to the heater in his house...
The rest you really need to see.
In this movie both characters discover who their real friends are, and help each other to heal in different ways.
I think it is a lovely, moving, and dramatic movie. I loved and highly recommend it.

Me on The Simpsons

This is how I would look as a Simpsons Character.

Courtesy of the SIMPSONS MOVIE WEBSITE