I had a bully!

I laid down today because I felt exhausted and I turned on the TV.
There were male models on there for a commercial with dark hair and I thought to myself.. "Why don't I find these guys attractive?"

All of a sudden I remembered this guy/kid in my prep school (its like advanced kindergarden before you go into first grade so you can learn to do math, read, and write before the other kids I guess....they don't allow naps and made us wear uniforms, like normal school), this kid's name was Ganesh Madoo.
He was my bully...
He used to take my pencils and break them and he took my lunch and snacks and ate them..
I was 3-4 years old.
He was about the same age but mean and sneaky.
I didn't know how he learned that, but I was scared because he hit, and he hit hard!
I don't remember crying but I remember being scared of him because he had brown eyes that were very light colored and it made him seem unstable and unpredictable.
They darted around and made you scared, because they darted then stood still as he looked at you before he did something mean.
That's my first memory of my stomach hurting when I was stressed. Maybe I was hungry too (lol).

He was very unpredictable...he used to bully other kids too...I remember being scared of him but not his silly brother who was in the same class as us and his twin...his twin didn't look anything like him and wasn't nearly as vicious, but he was sneaky. He stole things, and Ganesh was his protector.
Ganesh stole this little girl's candy (I saw him take it from her lunchbox) and I told her big brother who was like 12 years old.
Boy was he upset! He yelled and yelled at Ganesh and Ganesh lied and said he didn't. I insisted that he did take it and I had seen him.
I remember being a champion of justice in those days. Ganesh hit me hard for telling.....
I knew if I hit him back there would be trouble so I would pinch his brother's legs when he wasn't looking...I think that is what I did.
I could pinch HARD!
His brother cried at everything...how silly. I didn't like his dad either...I stared at them a lot and I didn't like him at all.
One day my mom was walking me to school and Ganesh and his dad were walking just ahead. I made her hang back a bit. I walked real slow.
She wanted to know why I was scared of silly Ganesh Madoo (she used the word silly or stupid) when I was never scared of anything or anybody at home.

Truth was I was scared of a lot of things but just fought so much/ stood up against them that everybody thought I was big and brave...whatever...
What a revelation.
I wonder what Ganesh is up to these days....looking back on it I think he may be very goodlooking now....back then I thought he looked evil...LOL!

Wow all these memories are coming back. I think this bully experience really shaped the way I see things now about people.....
You know what the weird thing is?
I remember talking to Ganesh as if he were my friend sometimes.....
Like he would sometimes just ask me to borrow a crayon and I would say no (I never liked to share my stuff just on principle) and he would accept that....
Or I would ask him a question or something like that. I never played with him because he was too rough....but I remember us being 'normal' too...

Yuck
Hugs M