But She's Cold

I had someone say that to/about me. I thought it was poetic...
You know when you read books in high school for literature class and you have to write esays on symbolism? Well I took it to mean cold and 'cold'.

My hands were cold and my arms were cold, but maybe I seemed cold because I was a little reticent.
I only get quiet when I am nervous or scared or hesitant or in the first of three stages of anger.

Then people who don't know me think I am being 'cold'. There are people who have known me for years (but have not truly gotten to know me), who will think that my silence is a slight on them.....

I think to myself.."Oh for crying out loud I just spent a half hour cutting up and laughing with you, can I have one minute of silence if I feel weird? Can I just settle myself before I throw up on your shoes then you really hate me?"

That's what I think.....

What I realise is that I need to communicate that weird feeling to them and let them know I feel weird, unbalanced, out of control....
Most people can deal with that....I hope.....

Feeling a little weird now but the weather is so cold outside. For the first time I like it. I have a fleece in my car with Brown Bears on it...

I had a small brown bear once named MOMO (this is really dumb) it was the best bear ever and it was the saddest thing...I had to throw him away...oh well life goes on

Talking to your friends while you are inside and the weather is cold outside makes you feel warm. I have to laugh at this because this morning Janice called me on the way to her exam. She was walking outside complaining how cold it was...I was laughing inwardly....AT least it wasn't minus 10 degrees like when she goes to New York for Christmas!

HUGS
M