:) Adoration

Is this

On Kerry, On Me

"I’ll be honest with you, I’m a little bit of a loner. 

 

It’s been a big part of my maturing process to learn to allow people to support me.

 

 I tend to be very self-reliant and private. 

 

And I have this history of wanting to work things out on my own and protect people from what’s going on with me."

— Kerry Washington

This is EXACTLY me!!!!

Sads

sads

My goodness

It's been stressful
I just have been inside myself

Just waiting to breathe deep
Because sometimes, that is all there is.

Talk

Talking to sis on skype in the eary morning and showing her childhood candy makes me feel like this

hahahahahahahha

Early mornings

Mornings are the only time I have now to  do this work. The only time Iget to be alone and have my down time
So I have to make the most if it.
Especially If I am to get done in time. I have a lot of re-writes
I feel some dread.

Aaaaand this

Too many things to do for this

 

Want to see...

Belle

Interesting story
Wanna see how it all plays out on screen

This is big

So I was writing
And writing
AND Writing
I went to a store and saw a book that I liked
It revamped my entre way of looking at what I was writing

I can't say why - I just realized something different
I'm not starting over - I'm just saying

There are gonna be re-writes

Starting now

Sooooo me

When something unpleasant happens right near you, but you're starving and still third or fourth in the food line
This happens...

Don't front. You know that's you too!

Stalled

I've been doing other things and planning a bunch of stuff so I couldn't focus on the project
Is that just an excuse?
Yeh maybe
Also  something seemed off for a little while and I couldn't get into my characters
I had to change one  in a major way
Or maybe I didn't have to change it. I am thinking I should allow an evolution of the charcaters
Except I personally don't partcularly believe in evolution of personalities when clearly I should
I used to think that how a person is, that is how they will always be
No hope or redemption
That is not true of course, and I should really try to write that way.
Obviously people evolve...

 Right????????????????

Remember when?

Remember when you couldn't decide if Ernie or cookie monster was your fav character on Sesame Street?

Welp!!!!!

I decided

Thank YOU Tom Hiddleston!

This is how you know

Life is dope...Kanye and Dave. Best story ever...

Soon....

This is a yes

So over it

Admire Steve McQueen
Answers dumb reporter questions straightforward with an ounce of pure SHADE

 

Check it out

And like so

YEH he said it...

my mood today

I'm tired

And I WISH somebody WOULD...

Love

Ok I love movies
Watching stories takes you away from what is now
I watch em all the time
ANY story
Some are horrible and lame
But when you get the good ones
That makes you feel so good

The butler was a goooood one
I loved this film

The acting was amazing
The cast so good
Everybody played their part well

 Oprah did an excellent job as Gloria

 Forest Whitaker as usual well done

Clarence Williams! I was so happy to see him! It was a small role but he NAILED it

Cuba Gooding Jr Very good and very memorable as always. 
Terrence Howard...Great as usual
Nelsan Ellis was great in a tiny role as MLK
Jesse Williams who usually plays hunky, pretty boy roles got into the James Lawson role and  did a great job.

David Banner lost some weight and  was so good.
 I liked Mariah Carey. She was good in Precious and she was good here...

I also liked how they  included details that people would miss if they didnt know specific personal things about the various presidents.
Like they subtly put in JFK's Addison's disease
Also Nixon's phlebitis..they just showed his suffering
Johnson's constipation - later in life they found he had massive intestinal problems including diverticulitis. They say he had a horrible diet
These are things that somebody really close would know but they did'nt HARP on it...just sort of showed it and if you knew you could relate and say OH

The story was well written and seemed realistic
 I appreciated that.

 When a story draws you in so you forget yourself and your life and you for even a minute

That's a good story

No matter what the details

Challenging

I didnt realize that the online class would be so challenging
Not in terms of content but  time
I make time for other things easily but sitting for the hour long class seems like a weight
I do it but sometimes begrudgingly
Well I gotta do what I gotta do so I'm not gonna complain and take my notes and make my materials up so I am ready when they all me.
DANG!
It never stops!
(Nope it does not!)

No.

Don't. Do. This.

If you haven't ever practiced at home, don't take it out to these streets
A for effort
F for execution

So true

Near and Dear

When you're working on your thing, it's YOURS
All yours
You don't want anybody messing with it
I decided on two versions, so that I have mine, which is mine and I can probably publish just one or two copies on my own just to have on my shelf (like the Voynich manuscript)

Then the other version that everybody reads and edits the sam hill out of, that everyone can read...

I think that is how it has to be

And oooohhhh

This happened

(Pres be like: I got it bruh)

Aaaaaannnd

This happened

Here we go

I am still at it.
I didnt want to post till I'd gotten somewhere.
Now I've gotten somewhere and there is more to go
Still writing
I dunno about sleep
I feel tired a lot

I try not to re-read the prose more than once otherwise I wanna scrap the whole thing.
Editing be hanged
Later I'm gonna get Nev to read it
He liked the vid I put together and wants to put it up on his wall
I was SHOCKED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hmmm

That was kind of a deep sigh
Its been a kind of stressy week but good thing that  I have had a rally cry of support.
I am to spend Friday just talking to P
Relaxing to music and writing through feeling ill
Oh and ugh
It has not been good at all
 

Sleepless, but good that they've been up when I woke up in the middle of the night to talk to me.
 Sometimes I dunno how I can
Feeling ill and stressed is no fun
However the writing takes my mind off it...
did I write
Yeh and yeh!

Outside

You know what's good for inspiration? Being outside
I mean out in town just walking amongst people though not necessarily interacting
Then sitting somewhere and people watching
That is the best
I did that yesterday.

So many ideas came to mind, before I got really tired and  almost drifted off for a long time
I was reading through and I realized some of the pages  and paragraphs need reorganization.
But I'm gonna wait till the end to do it.
If i reread too much I am gonna get sick of the story...
I'm tired now...

Connect

Ok so I have been out of the blog for a little while because I've been kinds of ill and busy.
One of the best things that's happened is that I got to talk to PM some more
It's been a relief
PM turned out to be quite deep and supportive

I'd sent him my attempt at a short food film short and he quite liked it and found it interesting. Only one person I showed dismissed it as nothing and I was disappointed but shrugged that off because generally its always a negative reaction from that arena anyway (Sometimes you just need people to be nice and acknowledge your efforts - you know?)
 PM is supportive so I told him about the thing I was/am writing.
I was so into it that I was able to describe in detail the background and the plot and where I think it was going and how I intend to finish by the end of the year.

I really intend to.
I want to
Its been too long
I dunno if I am gonna get an agent but I have access to many now so I am thinking about it.
I just hope it works out
I am keeping it under wraps till I am done.

But I am excited.
I am also going to continue with the food shorts. I have a fair amount of footage to edit together AND I could have had more but I have been too ill in the past few months to be bothered to film everything....
So here is hoping all goes well. I am trying to write at least everyday. a sentence or two even if I feel ill....

I am going to use the blog mainly to update my progress on that. I will see how it goes.
Wish me luck! :))))

Sweet

very sweet